Dr. Amanda Ross: Confidence, Belonging, and Sophomore Year

Tenth-Grade Dean Dr. Amanda Ross shares how she helps sophomores build confidence, belonging, empathy, and independence during a pivotal year of high school. She discusses her “invisible crown” philosophy, the importance of relationships, service learning, Model UN, leadership, and the whole-child approach that helps Bullis students grow into the best versions of themselves.

Bullis Voices is produced by the Bullis Office of Communications in Potomac, Maryland.

Questions or ideas for future episodes? Email communications@bullis.org.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Bullis Voices, the podcast where we take you behind the scenes of what actually happens in our classrooms and why it matters. I'm your host, Mark Griffey, Director of Communications at Bullis. And today, I'm talking with Dr. Amanda Ross, our 10th grade dean, a teacher of law, culture, and society, and leadership. Amanda approaches her work through a whole student lens. She helps sophomores navigate academics, social and emotional well-being, student life, grade level community, and the everyday challenges that come with being a teenager. But ask her what matters most, and she'll tell you it's the relationships. She believes students grow best when they feel known, supported, and challenged by adults who genuinely care about them. That mindset shows up in everything she does, from service learning and community-building experiences for the sophomore class to leadership opportunities that help students discover their voice and confidence. Amanda's been involved in youth empowerment work for a long time, and she's been a classroom teacher, counselor, division head, and director of social emotional learning and wellness in both public and independent schools. She was also an NFL cheerleader for five years, the Baltimore Ravens Pro Bowl cheerleader in 2018, and Miss Marilyn USA in 2014. Through it all, she carries a message that she still shares with students today. Always wear your invisible crown. In this conversation, we're going to talk about helping 10th graders build character, confidence, belonging, and a growth mindset during one of the most formative years of high school. Dr. Ross, welcome.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

So I thought we could start with that quote about wearing your invisible crown. What does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Yeah, so I started using Always Wear Your Invisible Crown, I guess it would be about 10 years ago, when I founded a nonprofit organization in Baltimore, and it really focused on cheerleading and being the best version of yourself. And I noticed that sometimes when you're speaking to students or speaking to someone, if you remind them, you know, you're royalty, you're a king, you're queen, you have so many wonderful, amazing things about you, they start to straighten their shoulders up a little bit. They keep their crown on. When something goes wrong, you know, of course you want to feel the feelings and feel upset and let those things happen so you can process those and move through it. And at the same time, you don't want to hang your head down, you want to keep your chin up and always wear your invisible crown. And so that's kind of where that came from is that we are all uniquely made in our own way and that we should all be kings and queens.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

And how do you carry that mantra with you throughout your own life? I'm really curious about your background and what led you to Bullis and how that invisible crown has stuck with you throughout all of those experiences.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Yes. So I can start with what brought me to Bullis. I am a Marylander, so I grew up in Maryland. I grew up in Columbia, Maryland. I started my educational career working for Montgomery County Public Schools. I started working as a special education paraeducator. I moved through to be a school counselor, and then I ended up moving to Miami for about four years. And in Miami, I started as a school counselor. Then I became the middle school division head at an independent school in Miami. And then I transitioned into being the director of social emotional learning and wellness in Miami as well. And I really enjoyed those positions. I learned so much. I loved the schools, the students, and I really wanted to be back in Maryland. You know, Maryland is a really special place. My family is close here, and being in Florida just didn't necessarily align with the way that I wanted to move through life. And so coming back to Maryland when I was looking for schools, I was being very intentional about the type of school that I wanted to interview for, potentially join. And Bullis was one that really stood out to me from the second that I looked at their website, from the amazing things that I heard from friends or family members within the community. And then when I got here, I was like, wow, you all aren't just talking the talk, because that happens a lot. You're actually walking the walk and you're putting actions to your words, and most importantly, they were student-centered. And that was something that really, really aligned with me, which was why I was interested in joining Bullis.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

And could we reach back into your background a little bit further? I'm so curious about how the very demanding worlds of both cheerleading and pageantry have shaped you, both as an educator and just as a person.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

I think a lot about the quote that you mentioned, always wear your invisible crown. Being an NFL cheerleader, it's very competitive, highly competitive. And a lot of times, you know, comparison might start to sink in, or you might start to think, well, maybe I won't make this team, or maybe I won't reach this goal. But once I was able to join the organization and remember that I had something special to bring to the team too, everything clicked for me from the relationships with teammates, from not looking at others as competition. And that's really something that I'm sure we'll talk about later that I tried to work with students on is that, you know, you're not in competition with one another. Really, if you learn to work together and pull on the strengths of one another, you can be so much stronger together. And that is one of the things that I learned from my time in NFL cheerleading. And also, really in pageantry, too. You know, in pageants, you're going up against so many beautiful, talented, amazing young ladies. And to win the title, yes, that was an amazing accomplishment, and I'm very grateful and happy for that. And I look at all the relationships that I made and women that are still amazing and incredible right now, that it didn't matter that they didn't win the title. They still are doing amazing work in the community, and our relationships are still there, which to me is most important.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

It sounds like you were really empowered by the experiences that you've had. And I know that empowering young people is something that you're very passionate about. What does empowerment look like for a high schooler?

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Aaron Powell Yeah, I think it boils down to being the best version of yourself in every arena. So again, not needing to outshine anyone or not needing to have the final goal, having you be the number one person. Of course, that's a great goal if you want to get the highest GPA, if you want to, you know, win a title, if you want to be the fastest runner on the team, those are also great goals. And being the best version of yourself, I think can help get you further because you're only competing against you. If you focus on you, then you can start to see your strengths, your areas of growth. You can start to see the work that you need to put in yourself in order to reach your goal. And so when I think about that through line with education, I want students to worry about themselves and not worry about others. Yes, we have the community piece, which we'll talk about, and so I don't want to lose that because you should also be a part of a community. And there are a lot of things that come along with sophomore year, junior year, senior year that you do need to be focused on yourself. And if you think too much about what those around you are doing or the decisions those around you are making, you may not be able to reach those goals because you might start slipping and turning into, okay, well, I want to do what they're doing, or I think that what they're doing sounds more interested. So I want to try that rather than sticking with what you have decided.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

So I wanted to ask, why tenth grade specifically?

SPEAKER_00 7:41

That is a great question. Initially, my background is in elementary and middle school. So my previous school was a pre-K through eighth grade school. And when I interviewed here, they had the 10th grade position available. And I knew nothing about high school other than, you know, in counseling, I know the adolescent development and things like that, but I hadn't ever worked with high schoolers. And when I saw the sophomores and, you know, I met with the administrative team, and we were talking about things that could support sophomores, they started to sound a lot like some of the middle schoolers I worked with, almost like that seventh grade age where you're right in the middle. You're not, they're not freshmen, so they don't have too much hand holding. They're not necessarily new to high school, but they're not juniors and seniors either, where they really have a lot of experience under their belt. They've built up their skills and they're ready to kind of soar. They're not there yet. And so now what I love about sophomores is that you can give them this balance of, yes, we're gonna give you your independence, and also we're gonna support you so that we can gradually release you and for you to soar. And that's one of the things that I love the most.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

What do you love specifically about sophomores? Like what's going on with a tenth grader? Tell me a little bit about their world.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

Tenth graders that I've worked with this year are navigating a lot of decision making, responsible decision making, what they should or shouldn't do, even the repercussions of decisions that maybe they didn't fully think through, which is totally age appropriate because their frontal lobe is not fully developed at this time. Thinking about navigating friendships. So when a conflict arises, how do you navigate that so that the friendship doesn't end? How do you navigate that when you might have two friend groups and so you want to kind of bring the friend groups together? They're navigating their academic pressures. You know, 10th grade is when a lot of those AP courses start to grow, the honors courses start to grow, you start potentially thinking about colleges, even though that's really what we try to leave for a junior year, but you start thinking about what is your plan and your trajectory to get you through the rest of high school. And so if you put all of that together, really there's a lot going on in their minds. Um, and so I try really hard to just be a calming presence for them whenever I can. And also to make it fun. We just had a kickball tournament, and at first I was really nervous about how the kickball tournament was gonna turn out. I'm like, I don't know, they're tenth graders, they're really gonna like the kickball tournament. And they loved it. Granted, we got rained out, but afterwards they were like, Dr. Ross, can we do more kickball tournaments? Like that was so fun. And so not only trying to bring that calming present, but also remind them that they're kids. And so, yes, they're navigating all of this and they can do it and also have fun.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

What do you think BOLA's faculty do well to support our 10th graders and all of our students?

SPEAKER_00 10:47

One thing in particular that I think about are all the different touch points that students have with adults. So whether that's through advisory with their advisor, whether that's through class meeting where the whole class comes together and we're able to just be in community with one another. Sometimes there's lots of boring announcements for them, but other times we're playing games and we're doing musical chairs and Pictionary, and you know, they're able to engage with adults in that way. And then I also think about the different clubs that Bullis offers. I remember, since this is my first year, this was my first experience with the club scene here at Bullis. And I remember the first time they had the club there, and students were coming up to me and saying, Could you be my club advisor? Could you do this? I'm like, wow, this is great. One, I had no idea that they even offered this club. And two, you get to learn about their interests. So then when I see those students again, I'm able to say, Hey, I know I couldn't advise your club, but how is that going? I hear they're interested in this. Have you heard about that? And then I can really make that connection and relationship with the students too, and they know that someone sees them more than just being a student academically, but something that maybe they're more passionate about that they haven't been able to shine outside of being in the club.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

How do students build confidence throughout that tenth grade year?

SPEAKER_00 12:10

I would say a lot of trial and error so far is what I'm noticing. Again, the course load does get more challenging. It does become more challenging for them. And so knowing that, yes, this is hard, and I just did it, or yes, this is hard, you know. I have a student who didn't do well on a couple quizzes and was like, Dr. Oz, I don't know how I'm gonna do this, you know, I'm not doing well. And then, like a month later, after we talked about all these strategies and, you know, really encouraging, about a month later came back and said, I got it, I did it, like this is great. And now the student has so much confidence in chemistry, is doing really well. And so when I say trial by error, I mean understanding that there's a process and it's going to take time, but that they can do it. Again, having that growth mindset, knowing that mistakes help me learn and grow, you know, I can do hard things. Chemistry might be hard right now, but that is not the end. And really adding in that yet word, you know, the power of yet, that just because I can't do something, it's I can't do something yet, not that you'll never be able to do it. And that's something that should stick with our high schoolers as well and not just be for lower and middle school.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

What role does community play in helping students to develop that mindset?

SPEAKER_00 13:24

Aaron Powell I really focus a lot on relationships. And I think when you create an environment where students are in safe relationships with each other, where they can make a mistake, where they can say, Oh, I got this terrible grade, and not feel judged, not feel as if they're a failure, but rather have their friends and fellow classmates circle around them and say, Well, this is how I did this, let me see how I can help you. That's something that I'm really trying to build through the 10th grade. And though it may not be directly connected to academics always, when you are in, I think about our uh special lunches that we have sometimes. And we really try to require the students when they come in and get their special lunch, Chipotle, for example, to stay in the room in the studio theater to eat the lunch and not just take it and go out. Because when you're in a space and you have to talk to other people outside of your circle, that is when you start to learn about others, and that is when you start to make those connections to feel safe and as if you belong within the community. And when you don't have those connections, you know, it can lead to people shutting down, not wanting to give their input, not wanting to share their feedback, and that's something that we don't want here at Bullis.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Is it possible to teach friendship and inclusion?

SPEAKER_00 14:44

I think you can. I think you can teach the qualities of a friend. I think you can teach how to be a friend. I think you can teach how to communicate. You know, communication is something that is really important in any relationship, and particularly in friendships, especially when you are at an adolescent age where you're navigating different social conflicts that might arise. And so being able to communicate that without ending the friendship is really important. And then inclusion, understanding that everyone is different, and that's great. That's amazing. And if we can all come together with those differences, that's what really makes our world and our community better. I think about the Buddy Bench project that we just did with Lower School. And the Buddy Bench book, for anyone that hasn't read it, it's it's an incredible book. And it talks a lot about friendship, kindness, and inclusion. And essentially in the story, they create this buddy bench. And if you are on the playground and you don't have anyone to play with, you sit on the buddy bench and it's a signal to both adults and students that you need a friend, that you need someone to hang out with, someone to play with. And what the story also teaches is how to do that. Because it's one thing to say, well, sit on the bench and wait for someone to come over. But what if someone comes over to you and you don't want to play the game that they're playing? Or someone comes over to you and you don't know them. And I think a lot about that with our sophomores, because while they may not be playing on the playground, they're sitting at the lunch table, they're sitting outside at the picnic tables on a nice day. And sometimes that same social worry about, you know, who am I going to hang out with? What am I going to do can start to creep in. And so having students go in and teach that to lower school and talk through those steps of how to navigate that, I think was a really powerful way to reinstill those values and that learning into the students that participated.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

You mentioned 10th graders working with lower schoolers on that project. And I know that there have been some other opportunities as well. I think 10th graders read to lower schoolers. What do those interactions with the lower schoolers do for the 10th graders?

SPEAKER_00 16:57

I think that's something that really helps their confidence. You talked about confidence before. You know, sophomores, they're underclassmen. Again, I think about that middle school, that seventh grade, right in the middle grade, which is kind of how I see some of our sophomores as being right in the middle of our upper school. And when they can be viewed as leaders within the upper school, even though they're not the seniors, even though they're not the juniors, I think it can be really empowering for them. And so then when they see the lower school students, you know, they're gonna straighten their shoulders up a little bit more. They're like, wow, you know, these students are looking up to me. And even hearing some of the questions that students were asking, the lower school students were asking to our upper school students during the read alouds was really nice to see because they had really good information to share with them from personal experiences that again can lead to that reflection of, oh, you know what, I've I've been through this before. I have the confidence to get through it. And maybe if I am worried, I'm starting a new school year, I'm starting at a new school, I don't have anyone to sit with, I can recall what I just shared, not only about my past experience, but in reading the lower, the reading to lower school students, the buddy bench, I can recall that information and apply it to what I'm learning now, even though it was something that was taught to lower school students.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

I love that. In addition to your role as 10th grade dean, you also teach a leadership course. Can you talk about what you try to impart upon your students in that class? What do you hope they they walk away from that class with?

SPEAKER_00 18:30

Yeah, so right now we've been focusing a lot on who they are as leaders. A lot of times we look externally to the leaders that we see and the leaders that we know. And that part is important too because you want to learn about other leaders and how they lead so that potentially you can take some of that and add it into your toolbox. However, when students can learn who they are, their strengths, their areas of growth, how they show up, their confidence, even knowing what belonging is and how to work with a team, some of our best conversations in that class come out of their personal experiences. You know, many are athletes because ballistas require students to participate in athletics for at least one trimester. Many students share athletic team stories and how either people have led on the team or they've led on the team. And so ultimately, my goal is for them to take what they're learning in the course and be able to apply it. And that same thing applies for the law, culture, and society course. Everything that they're learning in the class, I want them to be able to walk away from each unit that we've learned with at least one thing that they can take and apply or know as they navigate through life.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

You've also worked with students in Model UN to become leaders. What are the skills that you see being developed in Model UN?

SPEAKER_00 19:51

Model UN is amazing. I would encourage all students to participate in Model UN. The students, all of the work that they put into Model UN, the diplomacy that they show when they are in that conference room, it's really beautiful to see. You know, you might have a student who, when you see them on campus, they're a little quieter, maybe more reserved. But when they get in that conference room and they are meeting with other countries, showing extreme diplomacy, building blocks so that they can collaborate and come to a consensus, it is so amazing to see them really blossom. And I do think it's connected because one, you know, with Model UN, you're modeling the United Nations, and so there is a lot of international relations and potentially some law that might come into that. And with the leadership course, you really have to be a leader within Model UN because you have to speak up. You're representing a country. And while it may not be a country that you're super familiar with, you're gonna do the background research, you're gonna write the position papers, and you're gonna get there and try to find alignment with other countries. And that's what our students do really, really well is they know how to be diplomatic. They know how to work with others and try to gain a consensus, even if they aren't getting everything that they want. We even have students that have just started with Model UN this year that are now taking leadership roles within the organization. And so it's nice to see that development with just starting, just learning, and now I'm leading an after-school program.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

I know that service learning is also a big part of what you do with the 10th graders. How is service learning connected to leadership?

SPEAKER_00 21:35

With sophomores, we really do focus on the community within school and the external community too outside of school. And so we started sophomore year with students going on different uh service learning trips for XED. And so that ranged from working with So What Else, which is right here in the Rockville area, who actually is founded by a Bullis alum, which was pretty cool, and then also working with DC Central Kitchen. They worked with Movable Feast in Baltimore. And so learning about being that caring global citizen that Bullis really talks about and is in our portrait of a graduate is something that connects to the relationships and the community piece that we learn about as sophomores. In October, we had our first sock Tober, which was really, really cool. Our students donated over 1,000 pairs of socks to people experiencing homelessness, which really spoke to that caring global citizen piece. Because it was during our class meeting, you know, we put up the data to show what are the most needed items right now for people who are experiencing homelessness. And I think many people were surprised to see that socks is one of those things because, you know, we put on our socks every day. We probably don't think twice about wow, this is something that could really, really be helpful to someone maybe not in the same stage as life as us. And so again, going back to that caring global citizen, understanding that they can have an impact even just through one pair of socks with the world outside of bullets.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

I'd like to shift gears now and talk about your doctoral work because I find it so interesting. You researched what makes teachers stay in education, and I would love to hear what you learned and what made you want to explore that.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

So I was taking on a new role as the middle school division head, and there was a lot of change within the school. A lot of change, a lot of faculty change as well. And when I was thinking about what would I want to write my dissertation on, I really wanted to use both my counseling lens and also something that I was doing right now so that I could try to put some action behind the research. And that led me to think about overall teacher well-being and are we missing something for teachers to leave? You know, there are a number of reasons why teachers leave the education arena. And at the time, our numbers were crazy high. I mean, just in education in general, not just my school, but education in general, teachers were leaving by the dozens. And there wasn't really a reason that we could pinpoint as to why that was happening. And a lot of the solutions were solutions that were more individual-based, like you should take care of yourself. You won't burn out if you drink more water, you won't burn out if you take more time to yourself. And while some of those things are important, the individual is within a system, and the system has to also change and work. And so I wanted the research to look more at how the system can change to impact the teachers to help motivate them to stay. And so I looked a lot at relationships and who they had relationships with within the school building that impacted their motivation, their well-being, and wellness, which were all three different things within my research. And what I found was that relationships matter so much, which is something that I carry with me still throughout my time in education, and that relationships with students matter the most. And so if teachers do not have positive relationships with students, if teachers are not presented with opportunities to build relationships outside of the classroom or to make those connections, then it can be really, really hard to remain motivated to stay in the classroom. And so we can't just have supports and interventions that are isolated to the individual. It really has to be something that is related to the system. And one of the things that also came up was that schools should create intentional time and space, not only for building authentic relationships with students, but recalling on those past experiences. So part of my intervention was recalling on the positive past experiences with students that will hopefully motivate the teacher to remain in education. And so, say that a new teacher came into a school for the first time, what if they don't have a connection with their current students, who can they connect to from their past or who can they reach out to from their past when things are becoming tough, when they are feeling defeated, when they're having a challenge to say, well, actually I do have good relationships with students. Look at this student from where they are, where they started to where they are now through the relationship that I've had with them to really motivate and encourage them to remain in education.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

I think it's really interesting that we always talk about how important it is for students to have. I was talking with Kristen Felt and she was saying how important it is for students to have their adult, to have their person. And what you're saying is that it's just as important for adults to feel connected to their students in really meaningful ways.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Absolutely. You said that beautifully. Teachers need to have that same reward and enjoyment within their career. You know, teachers don't sign up to be teachers to work with computers, they sign up to be teachers to work with students, and so there is a genuine care for students. And so when teachers are able to activate that care, to build that positive relationship with students and to know that, you know, I may not do everything perfect. I may feel overwhelmed right now, but I know that I'm helping my students. I know that my students see me as someone that can help and support them, it really, really can impact their well-being and their motivation.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

What effect does faculty well-being have on students learning?

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Yeah, so there's actually a lot of research that talks about when teachers are highly stressed, there's a lower level of social adjustment and academic performance for students. So when teachers are unable to be at their mental and physical best in the classroom, students' academic achievement does suffer. And so understanding if the teachers aren't well, then the students aren't well either. There is a direct connection.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

So I want to bring this back around to 10th graders. What does a successful 10th grade year look like? What growth do you hope to see by the time we hit June?

SPEAKER_00 28:22

I would like to see 10th graders who are confident, who are able to approach challenges and problems with a growth mindset to say that, you know, they want to fix something and try to fix it and even try to fix it first without necessarily that adult intervention. So really having that gradual release towards independence, which is what sophomores want anyway, is independence. Um, so hopefully taking those skills that they've learned and growing with them. I also think about students who have empathy and can practice perspective taking again with that caring global citizen, understanding that you might be here in your little bubble, and there are so many other things that are happening outside of the world too, and so how can you reach out to the things that are outside of your bubble and create a connection or an impact on that?

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Okay, Amanda, I know that you haven't been here for very long, but I've been asking everybody at the end of the conversation, what do you hope never changes about Bullis?

SPEAKER_00 29:28

I hope Bullis never changes their whole child approach. Right now we're in a really, really good place where students can show up social emotionally and if they need support, they can go to wellness. And then we have our amazing academics and college counseling that gets the students to where they need to be. And when I see those three pillars, I really do think of a well-rounded student, and so I hope that Bullis never changes that whole child approach.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Amanda, I really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Thank you. I enjoyed it as well.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

That's our show for this week. Thank you so much for listening, and be sure to check back in next week for our next episode.